There is a before and after cancer, just as there is for the Corona Virus. A new normal will evolve, after both these journeys. And no, things will not be exactly the same as they were before.
But the word new is the operative one. I don’t know what each world will look like. I do know that I am prepared to embrace them both. Our lives have been altered forever. Life is about change and some of it is incredibly sad. We often have to forge a new way after a devastating life event. I’ve had a few of those. It seems impossible at the time. And then one day we realise that we’ve done it.
I’ve said before, that cancer is not a journey I would have chosen. I’m only partially certifiable. And as I prepare to step through the tunnel and into the light, I also know that it will always be in my peripheral vision. I don’t plan to give it much energy though…So, is it time to celebrate? You bet your sweet ass! Life is a precious gift and I plan to live. Really live. You also know by now, that I’m big on celebrations.
So what have I learnt along the way? The number one lesson is to live in the now. I didn’t quite get that before. That’s not to say I don’t have plans for the future. There are plenty. But experiencing each moment of my life is a wake up call. One step at a time is a cliche. It’s true though. For me, there was no other way to tackle this journey.
Close on the heels of this lesson is to let go of fear. That’s a bit harder and I didn’t always manage it. But when I did, I found it to be the most liberating feeling. Not being fearful allowed me to take the reins more, engage with what was happening to my body and stay in the driver’s seat. Being a passenger was simply not an option. It entails giving away all your power. I know that I (sometimes) come across as a pushover, but just try to wrench that wand out of my hand…and you may be surprised 🙂
Precious relationships are next on my list. Nurture yours. Cancer has a way of highlighting people who are in your corner. And they are absolutely priceless. Sadly, it scares some away and that’s also okay. I let them go. It’s vital to have positive people around. They make up the fabric of my life. We are connected on every level and that’s a miracle.
Trusting my own body is also up there. Yes, I needed all the big guns as well as many ‘complementary’ treatments. I wouldn’t do without any of them. But I also learnt that my body wanted to be a part of the healing process. And it was! I’ve learnt to listen to it more and more. Quite often and in surprising ways, it sorted itself out. My watermelon seroma is a case in point! After three drainings, my body kicked into gear and made it happen. (I have a sneaky feeling my streak of Irish peasant blood had a hand in this.)
Listening to the animals in my life is next. Dogs can smell cancer before it is diagnosed. I should have paid more attention to Xena’s sniffing. She also became very anxious and only calmed down once I had started treatment. Archie the feral ginger tomcat, became my personal masseur for some time. That’s come to an end though and apart from a brief morning cuddle, he’s gone back to prowling his territory and sending birds, moles and lizards into hiding.
Last but not least are my conversations with God. I had many of those. Sometimes they even turned into arguments. I derusted my connection to the man upstairs, my source, my higher self. I even reminded my guardian angels that I was still around and could do with some help. Whatever your beliefs happen to be, I would suggest that you get in touch with yourself for a journey like this. It gets pretty real and it helps to know who you actually are.
I’ll be stepping right into the light in a few days time. My hand is stretched out for you to take it and walk beside me.