My motto for 2017 is only to go where I am celebrated. That means not staying anywhere where I can feel I’m only being tolerated!
Sounds simplistic and really easy. Why would that be such a profound motto? Sometimes I do put myself in situations where I am merely being tolerated. How do I know? Well, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I can feel the spiky vibes. I tune into the body language around me. There is very little eye contact (a dead giveaway) and no warm, fuzzy feeling of belonging.
As egos come into play, mine squirms under a chair. I try to contribute to the conversation, but my voice is drowned out. I’m like the girl in the shampoo advert, attempting to say something but being totally ignored, because she hasn’t discovered the magic of that particular brand. I feel utterly diminished. Sounds as if I’m an introverted, socially awkward moron? Maybe. Yes, it does. Or perhaps it’s because I am picking up the feelings around me and swirling them into an unpleasant soup in my over-sensitive mind. So best choice? Ignore the messages my body is processing. Blame myself for being silly. Push in to a group and shout over the person speaking, so that my voice is heard after all… Finally leave, hours later, feeling awful about who I am as everybody has rejected me.
But wait… in other situations I am warmly welcomed. The people around me want to talk to me. I am still shy, but find myself drawn out by the lovely group, who widen the circle to include me. When I try to leave a little early, I am persuaded to stay, let my hair down, join in the fun. Not everyone is uber friendly, but there are enough people I’m able to connect with. My sense of humour begins to bubble out and strangely enough some of the crowd are laughing at my comments. I leave, feeling loved, happy and content. Everybody has celebrated me, for who I am.
So what’s the catch? Choose your ‘everybody’ (thank you Martha Beck.)
I challenge myself and any of you out there, to re-think your ‘everybody,’ find your own carefully selected tribe and go where you are celebrated in 2017!